August 22, 2016 / Posted in Writing / 8 Comments

‘Show Don’t Tell’ is one of the most common pieces of writing advice around (followed closely by ‘Kill Your Darlings’ which is daft but that’s another post). The problem with show don’t tell is that it’s unspecific. And also just kind of impossible.

Let’s start with the impossible (and I’m going to be very literal for a moment). When writing a book, I am going to tell you everything. I am going to tell you what the character does and what they say and where they say it and how. When it comes down to it, I’m using words to convey the story so telling is really all I’ve got.

The biggest difference between my early and later drafts is all the things I don’t tell you. I can write a novel in 10,000 words because there’s a whole world in my mind that I know and understand but don’t put words to – where the characters are and what it looks like, the nuances of their expressions and their emotional beats in a conversation. My editors help me focus in on the gaps that interest them and I build from there. The most common note I get is, “I don’t get that” or “I don’t understand” because half the novel exists in my mind instead of on paper. So, giving myself the freedom to tell the reader things is important to my process.

The key, and the real purpose behind a cliche like ‘Show Don’t Tell’ is how I tell you. And there are generally two problems you’re trying to solve with this particular cliche.


General description is incredibly handy to move characters from one scene to the next; to move them through time or space to get to the next interesting part.

Diving into the dialog or emotion instead of using general description immerses the reader in the world, the moments and the characters and what they’re thinking and feeling. Mostly, that immersion is really important.

Sometimes, you’ve just got to get them half way across the kingdom, it’s ok if nothing interesting happens along the way.


I read a novel once where the main couple had been best friends forever. They’d grown up together and now that they’re older teenagers they’d fallen in love. But they’re ripped apart somewhere around chapter 2. And the majority of the book is her interacting with this other guy. They talk. They get in scrapes together and they find ways out. There’s banter and they understand each other because they’re in this situation together.

The problem is, the whole time she’s talking about how in love she is with the other guy. But I don’t believe it. I don’t hear anything in the story other than the words “I’m really in love with him.” No memories that build their relationship for me. Nothing that reminds her of this other guys and breaks her heart at his absence. I don’t believe the words the author or the character is telling me because there is no evidence behind those words.

That’s show don’t tell. And there are more specific ways to advise a writer than just saying, ‘Show Don’t Tell’ like:

  • Use sensations. Tell us something tactile in the scene. Especially in general description, tactile description makes it come alive. I picked up this lesson from Rachel Starr Thomson in this post about being a storyshower.If you’ve read Enchanted Storms, I put it into practice in the scene where they’re sword fighting on the ship. I needed to move them forward to the next scene which is the one the plot really needed (and one I really enjoy). But I wanted to mine the connection between my characters as much as possible instead of making it a one or two sentence transition.
  • Don’t use dialog tags. Instead, use emotion or action and include the speaking characters name in the sentence.
    I’ve used this one (with the 80% rule in effect) from the earliest drafts of Tattered Heart. Mostly because I get really bored writing ‘said’ and ‘asked’ but then I realized what a great opportunity the moment is to add some depth to the character or the scene.
  • Also, just use action. Move the characters around the room and around each other. Movement creates energy, which is pretty much always a good thing.
  • If you’re going to tell me something, make sure you’ve given me evidence of it somewhere else. The worst thing is when one character says that another character is really courageous or really smart but we’ve read nothing in the novel that would make the us believe those words.

Those are just some of my writing rules. I’m sure it’s a very incomplete list. The bottom line is, you’re an author not a director. Telling is all you’ve got. Make it interesting.

What are some of your writing rules? Are there specific ways you make your writing more interesting? Or, what’s the one piece of writing advice you wish you could redefine?


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8 responses to “Down with show don’t tell

  1. Lois Palmer

    Interesting and true. I agree as a teacher that children don’t understand ‘show don’t tell’ some good points raised to help children understand.

    • Annie

      thank you 🙂 I think specific examples can be very helpful in understanding and applying new information.

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