Odd as it may seem, I never knew I was a geek. I could probably come up with all sorts of reasons why I was unaware but part of it was that I had no point of comparison.

My friends bought me guides to Star Trek: The Next Generation and never let on that this was anything out of the ordinary for a seventeen year old girl. My step-mom and brothers liked Star Trek so no one complained when I recorded a ton of ST:TNG episodes before we moved and no longer had TV. Well, maybe my sister complained some but that’s to be expected from little sisters. College was a fleet of sci-fi movies from Independence Day to Stargate and The Fifth Element and none of my friends pointed out that I was the only girl in our crew more excited than the guys. They just knew I’d totally go see Alien Resurrection with them.

And then… then I saw something I’d never realized before. I was hanging out with a couple of guys and we bounced from discussing the characters that should be in the next X-Men movie (the first was the only one out at the time) to Star Trek and back to X-Men and other Marvel characters and completely ungeeky things like the Old West and music about that era.

One of the guys turned to my friend and asked, “Where did you find this girl?!”

Not right then, but on the drive home it occurred to me that I was the only girl I knew who understood any of those topics and could have the conversations we’d gone through and really enjoy it. I’m glad to say that statement isn’t true anymore. I’m still something of an anomaly – we have things like Sci-fi Nov because sometimes geeky friends are hard to find. But there’s a ton of amazing women who love this stuff and know enough to hold spectacular conversations.

But that night was the moment I realized I was a geek and it was a really positive, cool thing because I was different in an interesting way.

I mean, my bookshelf should have been a clue but I’ll get to that post in a couple of weeks.

The thing about recognizing I was a geek is that it wasn’t all holodecks and ZAT guns (you know, the fun stuff). Being different can be as isolating as it can be freeing. And knowing you’re a geek means knowing there are times when no one around you understands what you love or why you love it or really, sometimes, even the words you’re saying.

Which makes it all the more important to find a community that does. To find people who understand the beautiful darkness of BSG and the bright optimism of Star Trek and who understand how very, very cool it is to have met Jonathan Frakes.

So you can imagine that I am supremely excited for Sci-Fi November! I am planning on posting once a week (if you read my blog, you know that’s pretty impressive). And I can’t wait to see what everyone else has in store.

Posted in: meme ~


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24 responses to “Sci-Fi Nov: Confessions of an oblivious geek

  1. I love this post! I was fortunate to only be met with support from family and friends in my formative geek years . It makes a world of difference when your parents buy you all the kenner Star Wars toys and you have a mom that doesn’t bat an eye when you ask for Luke Skywaljer underoos, even though they were designed for boys :):)

    • Annie

      You’re right – it makes a huge difference when your friends or family support the things you love. I’m so jealous you got underoos. I always thought they were so cool and wish I’d thought to ask for some 🙂

  2. This post is the greatest! I have found a bunch of sci-fi and fantasy-loving friends in college, but you’re right, most of them are guys! I didn’t really think about it until you pointed that out. I do have a couple of female friends that join me when I geek out about Doctor Who or sharing a birthday with Isaac Asimov though 🙂

    • Annie

      I”m so glad you’ve found friends who enjoy sci-fi and fantasy with you 🙂 It makes it so much more fun when there’ people to talk about tv shows or movies or books with! And it’s definitely important to appreciate sharing a birthday with Isaac Asimov!

  3. Great post! And so agree about community- it’s the same feeling you get when you go to a convention and are around so many like minded people. I was lucky enough to have friends who liked the same things, but family members and others who have no interest in geeky things- it’s a shame when you can’t share the geeky love with them. 🙂

    • Annie

      yes – it’s totally like going to a convention. I love just that energy of being around people who appreciate the best parts of the things you love and will debate them with you 🙂 It reminds me of something Wil Wheaton said once about being a nerd, “The way you love that thing and how you find other people who love it the way you do is what makes being a nerd awesome.”

  4. It’s funny, because I think I have an equal number of sci-fi geek friends who are male vs female! Not that I have too many friends who read though lol. They’re mostly movie/TV based geeks- which is completely fine too.
    Quite a lot of Marvel fans out there 🙂

    • Annie

      That’s cool that you have a good balance of male/female geeky friends. Most of my rl friends don’t read as much as I do either. And those that are geeks are like you’re friends – much more into movies and tv. I probably am more now then I was in high school, admittedly. Marvel is giving us a ton of things to love, though so it works 🙂

  5. Oh hell’s yeah. I remember being the only lady in a group of guys a lot during college too, probably for the same reason, though I never thought about it much at the time. HIGH FIVES GEEK COMRAD! 🙂

  6. I love this post, and I feel I can kind of relate to it! I didn’t love a lot of geeky things until late high school when I ended up with a (unbeknownst to me because I too can be oblivious) geeky group of friends (which included the guy I am now married to) who got me into things after we already established common geekery (LOTR and Star Wars). I still reel when I meet people who aren’t dying over the latest Marvel announcement, like wait, not everyone is in love with this? Last year I went to the Nashville Star Trek convention with my husband and two of our guy friends and it felt normal to me. I was content with our group, even when they did start talking football and I kind of zoned out, ha ha. It is fabulous though to meet geek girls online! 🙂

    • Annie

      I love that you unknowingly ended up with geeky friends, including your husband 🙂 There’s something just so cool about finding people who share your interests and expand them without any guile or expectation or labels – just pure enjoyment of those things. I”m very glad to count you as part of my online geek community 🙂

  7. I’m a geek but I’m not a nerd. I don’t get science or maths or remember detailed things. I fangirl = definitely a geek. And I know weird obscure things about superheroes and I LOVE them so much. But yes…I actually get lost when things go hardcore sci-fi a lot. My bad! >_< I do love geeky conversations about fandoms and things though. 😉 I'm glad you've discovered your inner nerd/geek!
    Thanks for stopping by @ Notebook Sisters!

    • Annie

      I’m with you – much more of a geek than a nerd. Though, I like to say I learned everything I know about wormholes from Stargate, that doesn’t mean I actually know a thing about quantum physics 🙂 Fandom is much more fun than facts. Totally reminds me of this

    • Annie

      I know, right?! I had a work trip to Toronto for a week and nothing better to do at dinner than write posts 🙂

  8. I love this post! I was telling my husband the other day that I don’t consider myself to be a geek and he was like, you so are. You love video games, read and watch Sci-Fi and Fantasy, you are a geek. I attest that all this is totally normal behavior of COOL people, and not an indicator of geek-dom.

  9. Yess, embrace the geekiness 🙂 It’s so much fun to chat about the things you love with people without worrying about how they might be judging you. I love it when people are so passionate about things like this! That’s why I started SFM after all.

    • Annie

      and I’m very glad you did! SFM is like this gift you’ve given us all with the chance to talk about things and connect so, sincerely, thank you 🙂

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